Post by Gerry McDonnell
Existence is total of little contradictions. When a expert gambler shops around for price, he’s lauded for his shrewdness. However when I apply a comparable level of financial prudence exterior of the betting arena, I am deemed meaner than a premenstrual Scot with a toothache.
I’m not ashamed to say that I use the same tactic with my buying price range as I do with my betting financial institution. Why really should I shell out 60p for ‘brand name’ biscuits when I can obtain an practically identical packet for 15p? Admittedly, the cheapskate biscuits crumble at the merest touch, but I can allow this minor flaw pass, as it’s mostly the little ones who eat them.
The little ones are usually on my again to enhance my fitness amounts. They’re fairly heavy. My frugal nature led me to scoff at wasting £200 on a gym membership right after all, I’ve got a bike at property.
My economical acumen did lead to quite an embarrassing mix-up. I was feeling a tiny peckish soon after a extended stint on the physical exercise bike, so I determined to snack on a number of of the tightwad biscuits. This adequately explains how the wife observed me breathing heavily although furiously stroking the crumbs off my lap.
Lawrie Sanchez has also been on the stop of a comical misunderstanding. The Fulham manager loves to indication Irish gamers, so when he heard of the crisis engulfing Chelsea, he created a cheeky bid to indicator O’Bramovich.
The Chelsea squad are on the verge of mutiny as a outcome of their tough-to-please owner. Fat Frank, the Drog, Malouda: they’re all revolting.
Some of the players have been in tears when Jose left, although Ashley Cole’s emotional state might be a consequence of Liza Minnelli’s tour drawing to a close. The two/five for a Chelsea win above Fulham has sent me toppling about the edge.
Michael Owen has the moment again been sidelined via damage. The King of the Castle has been ruled out with a double hernia: it started off off as a single but he was feeling fortunate. I’ll have a minor punt on the draw in between Manchester Metropolis and Newcastle at 23/ten.
Robbie Savage has often been in contrast to Roy Keane. Sadly, the expression ‘a bad man’ usually plays a substantial part. The seven/four for a Sunderland acquire above Blackburn can assist alleviate poverty amongst the betting courses.
Unless of course Fernando Torres shares the wife’s unusual medical condition in which physical exercise is only permitted the moment a week, he has to begin towards Wigan. I’ll happily back again Liverpool at four/six if Torres commences: if he’s on the bench, I’ll lay it like it was Meg White.
Studying left it late to land a touch in opposition to Wigan final week. With two minutes to go, I was sweating like Prince Charles on Father’s Day. These Royals are rather helpful they can depart Portsmouth with a level at five/two.
They say that excellent items come in modest deals, and that is an adage to which I am forced to subscribe. Cesc Fabregas may possibly be diminutive in stature, but he’s a correct giant on the football pitch. Arsene has set the small gentleman on fire, he’ll inspire Arsenal to a victory about West Ham at ten/11.
Whilst Cesc is banging the ambitions in for entertaining, Andy Johnson would battle to score at a Ronaldo house-party. I’m loving the five/two for a draw among Everton and Middlesbrough.
Steve Bruce is genuinely seeking ahead to the check out of Manchester United. It’s not a result of his Aged Trafford ties, he just wants to stand following to Carlos Tevez and not be regarded as the unsightly one. The four/7 for a Manchester United acquire about the Blues is totally gorgeous.
I am definitely nervous about this bluetongue virus. Apparently, it is transmitted by midges, so I’m steering well obvious of Sammy Lee. Bolton are worth a tiny bet at 7/4 against Derby.
Martin Jol appears to have misplaced the plot. I wouldn’t deal with a puppy the way Jol has treated Jermain Defoe, especially as she failed to swallow my biscuit story. Aston Villa will go away the Lane with a position at 9/four.
I’m confident the spouse has shared her outrageous concept on ‘biscuitgate’ with her mother. I’ve been a nervous wreck because the incident I just haven’t been sensation myself. Arsenal, Liverpool, Manchester United and an Everton draw sort a 14/1 weekend accer that will ideally raise my flagging spirits.
About the Author
Gerry McDonnell dabbles in football odds compilation, journalism and orphan rescue.